How To Cope When Anxiety Is Running The Show
When Anxiety shows up, Riley’s other emotions are pushed aside. Disney/Pixar (2024) Image retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/14/well/mind/inside-out-2-anxiety.html
In Disney-Pixar’s movie, Inside Out 2, the complexity of adolescent emotions is portrayed. The emotion that stood out the most to me was Anxiety. (Spoiler alert!) Anxiety started out as a conscientious emotion, helping the main character, Riley, avoid public embarrassment and impress others. As the movie progresses, Anxiety insists on being the boss of Riley’s mind. Anxiety was an energetic planner. As this cute-but-somewhat-distressing emotion took over more and more control of Riley’s thoughts, however, Anxiety did 6 things: (1) robbed Riley of her sleep; (2) drove Riley to the point of exhaustion; (3) fed her insecurities; (4) affected her relationships; (5) suppressed other emotions; and (6) warped Riley’s sense of self. Riley even experienced a full-blown panic attack at one point. In the movie, Joy was the one that was able to settle Anxiety down.
Here are 6 parallels that relate how Riley experienced Anxiety and how we might also experience anxiety in our lives. I’ve also included some takeaways that may be helpful for each issue.
1. Anxiety can cause sleepless nights.
In Inside Out 2, minion-like characters keep Riley awake late into the night, as they illustrate worst-case scenarios in her mind. Many of us can relate to that scene, for anxiety can rob us of sleep, as we worry about disastrous outcomes. Mulling over everything that is wrong with the world makes for an awfully hard pillow. We may toss and turn until the wee hours of the morning and still not find solutions to our personal sources of distress, much less any answers for the world’s problems. This can leave us feeling unsettled, frustrated, and overwhelmed.
What can be done about losing sleep because of anxiety?
Exercising during the day (even a brisk walk) can help us have a better night’s sleep. Monitoring caffeine intake and limiting caffeine after 2:00 PM may help. Ending screen time an hour or so before bedtime and having a bedtime routine can signal to the brain that you are settling down and preparing to sleep. Keeping the bedroom cool at night can help. Some people find sound machines relaxing, and some people find aromatherapy soothing. Journaling or jotting down a quick to-do list may help put your mind to rest. If you enjoy praying, this can be a great way to tell the Lord about your worries and leave them in His hands.
2. Anxiety can make us exhausted, and yet it drives us to ignore our limitations.
It’s not just lack of sleep that can leave us feeling wiped out. Fear and Anxiety often coexist. We have a survival instinct to prevent terrible things from happening. However, there is a difference between proactive planning and living with a continual sense of unease, worry, and tension. Playing the What-If Game may increase our feelings of apprehension instead of making us feel well-prepared for scenarios. As a result, we may go into overdrive trying to control situations.
Anxiety affects our bodies. Anxiety and chronic stress, left unchecked, can lead to a host of physical problems, including gastrointestinal issues (i.e., ulcers, IBS), problems with the immune system (i.e., fibromyalgia, arthritis), fatigue, and cardiovascular problems (i.e., racing heartbeat, hypertension). We’re given a finite amount of energy for each day, and when we’re feeling anxious, it demands a lot of energy from us, which can leave us feeling depleted.
What can we do about it?
Having a mindset where we do our best and don’t worry about the rest is helpful. We cannot be everything to everybody. Having realistic expectations of ourselves and others decreases anxiety. Failures can be seen as opportunities for learning. Recall times in the past when you successfully accomplished something. This can boost your confidence and encourage us that good outcomes are possible. Eating healthy foods, exercising, being around optimistic people, and doing good for others can have a positive impact on our mood and outlook. We only have one body, and we must take care of ourselves so that we can live a long, healthy life.
3. Anxiety can make us think that we’re not good enough.
We remember our failures, and, just like Riley, we are all too keenly aware of our shortcomings. Anxiety can bring this to the forefront of our thoughts, causing us to feel dread that we are going to fail again. We may feel too afraid to attempt to reach a challenging goal. We may feel insecure and shaky if we do work up the courage to try.
What can we do when we feel like we’re not good enough?
This is a tough one, because the truth is that we’re not going to be great at everything. Everyone possesses strengths, and each person has the potential to succeed at many different endeavors. I think the key here is to seek discernment about whatever it is that we’re considering doing. Sometimes we’re not good enough yet, but we could seek training and become good. We can break down large tasks into smaller components. Even if it turns out that we are not competent at a given task, we still possess innate worth and value. We have been carefully and wonderfully created by God, He cares for us, and what He has created is good.
4. Anxiety affects our relationships.
Those of us who have struggled with anxiety have most likely had well-meaning loved ones try to either reassure us that things will turn out fine or become exasperated with the constant worrying that we struggle with. Those who care about us can see the toll that anxiety takes on us. In Inside Out 2, Riley ended up hurting her best friends’ feelings when Anxiety got carried away. In our own lives, maybe we used to have fun and laugh a lot more than we do now. Anxiety may express itself as trying to control situations or other people, having insatiable perfectionism, being overprotective toward loved ones, feeling irritated that no one seems to understand, or being mistrustful, all of which can strain relationships.
What can be done to improve our relationships?
Our relationships are only as healthy as we are. We can seek counseling to help us cope with stressful situations. We can put ourselves in the other person’s shoes to understand how our anxiety may be affecting them. We can delegate tasks and ask for help. We can be honest and let people we trust see our vulnerabilities. We can set aside time for relaxation, fun, and recreation. We can surround ourselves with people who support us and people who we can offer a listening ear to. We can join a local church, charity, or extracurricular activity. Sometimes helping others can interrupt our self-doubt and strengthen our relationships. Spending quality time with people strengthens relationships.
5. Anxiety might suppress other emotions.
It is hard to feel joyful and hopeful when anxiety is at the helm of one’s mind. We may think that after _________________ (a big event that we’re nervous about), then we can relax and have fun. Or maybe if things turn out the way we want them to, or when things are less stressful, then we can think about the deeper things in life or acknowledge emotions we’re uncomfortable with (i.e., sadness, anger, embarrassment). The problem is that what often happens after a big event is another situation pops up that we start to worry about. Anxiety tried to take over Riley’s thoughts, and a panic attack resulted. Our emotions have their place and their context, but they don’t have to rule us.
What can be done to express other emotions?
Counseling is a great way to explore your emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, and it provides a safe space to do so. Journaling is an excellent way to express your emotions. Art is another way to express your emotions. Learning to communicate your feelings to others in healthy ways keeps them from being bottled up. Prayer is another excellent outlet for our true feelings.
6. Anxiety can warp our sense of self.
If we’re not careful, we may make decisions based on what will temporarily appease our anxiety, rather than what is wise long-term. In Inside Out 2, Riley made some regrettable decisions that hurt her friends and compromised her integrity, to try to fit in and seem valuable. She nearly lost her sense of self. As teenagers and adults, we can find ourselves compromising on our values, too. Sometimes a person may drink alcohol in an attempt to calm themselves down, which may lead to an alcohol use disorder. Sometimes anxiety may arise when we are shouldering immense responsibility. Some anxiety is good, because it spurs us to do well. Too much anxiety hurts not only our bodies, but our souls. We may feel like the world is unsafe. We may have been in such a tense state for so long, it may seem careless to not worry. It’s become our default mode. We may have lost sight of who we really are, what we value, and what we believe, due to the weight of our burdens. Riley learned to accept the various parts of herself and to be more authentic in the future. We can, too.
How can we repair our sense of self?
Anxiety is something that a person struggles with; it is not who they are. Your emotions are a part of you, but they are not your totality. You have a mind, a will, a personality, a physical body, emotions, and a spiritual self. Talking about your perception of yourself in counseling can help you become more self-aware about all of the fascinating things that make you, you. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses is important. Anxiety most likely did not happen overnight, and it will take time and focused attention to manage it. Biology and inherited factors can make a person more prone to having anxiety, and many times, anxious responses are learned by watching others as we grow up. Life events may have influenced us in ways that added to our sense of apprehension. However, if your stress level is affecting your quality of life or your relationships, seeking counseling is a positive step toward emotional healing. When a person’s stress levels are more manageable and their responses are thoughtful instead of reactionary, they can live more purposefully, according to their values and core beliefs. It is possible to face life with optimism and inner peace.
At AP Counseling Group, we would love to assist you on your mental health journey. Please call 281-644-9159 or email carol@apcounselinggroup.com or amy@apcounselinggroup.com to schedule an appointment today. We hope to see you soon! Take care!
Love and blessings to you,
Carol McMurtry, MS, LPC-Associate,
Supervised by Mary Ring, LPC-S, #11918