Walking Through Grief with Scripture Writing Plan
There are a variety of losses that we experience in life. Grief is simply an emotional response to the losses in our lives that God can use to heal our hearts. Some of the most painful experiences we encounter are:
the loss of a loved one, whether it was expected or sudden
loss of a job
loss of a broken relationship
loss of dream
loss when we move
loss of our idea of family when a child gets a diagnosis
loss of finances
Often the pain of loss can feel overwhelming resulting in shock, anger, disbelief, guilt and profound sadness. These emotions lead us to seek comfort and healing so finding a healthy way to do that is important.
There are certainly losses that hurt more than other losses. We don’t want to minimize the overwhelming grief that can last a life time when we’ve lost someone we love through death. Our hope in writing this article is give your heart “permission” to grieve your losses – regardless of the size. God is our healer. He heals the smaller losses and the most insurmountable losses.
We pray you invite God to show you your losses and to heal your heart
I reflect on times when I had “new normals”, such as the death of a child, moving to new cities, children going off to college, empty nest, and enjoying grandchildren. Through all of these seasons in life, we can embrace the good and the bad of experiences and the natural progression of life. They also brought a need for a time to grieve and accept loss so that I could get a bigger picture of how God wants to bring comfort and healing to my soul and allow a deeper meaning and understanding of what he is doing in and around me.
There are two things that were significant in my previous journeys to establish “new normals” and they have been helpful to me over the past several weeks.
Spending time naming my emotions and allowing myself to grieve was the first step.
Seeking God in His word created an environment for my heart to feel the nearness and love of God.
Stages of Grief
God created us to grieve. The emotions of grief are not wrong or to be feared, but indicate how our hearts live and have passion, but also how they hurt and experience pain. Research by Kubler Ross provides the natural stages of grief a person goes through when experiencing loss. Understanding these stages can help a person experiencing strong emotions to put a name to them and be an aid to understanding them.
1. Denial and Isolation
Being stuck at home can be a nice reprieve from the busyness of life but it can be a place of loneliness and even more stress if you have children in the home. Just taking time to name your emotions helps to bring you out of denial. Talking to others or God brings connection in relationships.
2. Anger
This can range from confusion and frustration to angry feelings and expressions of that anger. For example, there was a lot of confusion and frustration at the beginning of the pandemic about school closures, the need to socially isolate, food supplies, and overall lack of information. These emotions are not wrong, but should be identified as part of the process your body is experiencing.
3. Depression
Sadness and feelings of being overwhelmed with the changes you are experiencing can be difficult if left unchecked. Reaching out to a friend or just establishing a routine like exercising can be so beneficial. I found this so helpful for myself the past several weeks while the weather has been nice. Walks every afternoon are so uplifting. It has been nice to see others out practicing social distancing, too.
4. Bargaining
The desire for things to be different and bargaining with God about your circumstances like job loss, financial fears, and loneliness might lead you to ask “what if” questions. “What if God would only give me another job?” If you find yourself asking questions like this, ask God to give you wisdom to turn the question around and ask God, “How are you going to use this change or event in my life?”
5. Acceptance
This is beginning to finding the new normal and embracing it. No one goes sequentially through the stages, but you will find yourself going in and out of each of them at different times. The important thing that I found is to give myself permission to have these feelings because that is the way God has created me to experience life. Once I name the emotion or stage of grief, I can go to my Heavenly Father with my heart and seek His healing. He desires for me to pour out my heart to Him.
Meditating on Scripture
For me to walk closely with God in a time of grief, I need to mediate on His word. God has so many words of comfort and encouragement for us. Even when I do not feel like I can focus on a Bible verse, I have begun to write out scripture by hand. Yes, the art of writing in long hand can help your heart and mind to heal. You can use colored pens, crayons, or sidewalk chalk, but just begin to spend time each day copying the scripture. Then ask God what He wants to say to you through that verse. I don’t always have an “aha” moment, but committing to spend time each day listening to God’s voice through His word puts my focus on His truths so that I can see how He is working in my situation. This has helped me develop and accept my new normal when facing grief and change.
Here is a suggested Scripture writing plan to help get you started.
Day 1 – 1 Corinthians 15:51-57
Day 2 – 2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Day 3 – Isaiah 40:27-31
Day 4 – John 14:25-27
Day 5 – John 16:19-24
Day 6 – Psalms 18:1-9
Day 7 – Psalms 18:10-19
Day 8 – Psalms 46:1-5
Day 9 – Psalms 73:21-28
Day 10 – Revelation 21:1-4
Day 11 – Romans 8:16-25
Day 12 – Romans 8:26-35
Day 13 – Romans 8:36-39
Day 14 – 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
I hope you will find comfort and strength in the days ahead as you give yourself permission to grieve by identifying and naming your emotions, then seeking God in his word to heal and encourage your heart. A new normal may be a difficult adjustment, but God has an incredible ability and power to take a willing heart into a place of deeper understanding of his nearness and love.
Local resources:
Griefshare is a great program in our Katy community and held at many local churches. Here is a list of all the churches providing Griefshare. Local List
Bo’s Place offering free grief support groups
**Deciding it is time for you to seek support on your healing journey? contact pat@apcounselinggroup.com or call us at 281-644-9159 to set up an appointment.
With love,
Pat Bramlett, LPC